patience in parenting

Patience.  One of THE most challenging things to obtain.  And when it comes to parenting, patience will be tested to the fullest.

We must be patient with our partners in family planning.  When to have children, how many children to have, what to name those children, how to raise those children, and the list goes on.  For those who are blessed with the surprise of pregnancy, they must be patience with all of the sudden responsibilites and changes that come their way.

We must be patient in trying to conceive.  For some it will happen quickly, for others it may take months, even years, and for some it may never happen the way they had planned, and they may then have to deal with patience in adoption and all that comes with it.

We must be patient throughout pregnancy.  Morning sickness, cravings, mood swings, fatigue, and so much more.

We must be patient in those first days and weeks of life with a newborn.  It is not easy, not at all.  And I sometimes believe that if you can make it through that time, you can make it through anything.

We must be patient as our children grow.  Sickness, teething, diaper rash, infections, colic, potty training, weening, temper tantrums, schooling, phases, puberty, and so much more.

And here I find myself, having a secret little battle with patience.  Wanting to conceive, and wondering if this month will be the month.  But I must wait, and then wait a little more.  There is truly nothing I can do except be patient.  So patient it shall be.  :)

P.S.  That fabulous little necklace above is from Etsy, and you can find it here.  What is so coincidental about finding this piece is that the designer designed it for those trying to conceive.  It comes with a fresh water pearl and a rose quartz, which is believed to be a bead of love and fertility.  I was searching for an image to represent patience, and found this piece.  I love when things like this happen.  :)

trying...second month

Our second attempt has begun.  I printed a new calendar and we're ready.  Although I must say that we are relaxed and just having normal fun.  ;)  Let's see how this month will turn out.  If we do not get pregnant, I'm not sure if we'll try again for awhile.  We may try a third time and if it doesn't work then we'll have to postpone for some time.  And this is because of our travel plans next summer.  But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
So how much do you know about the whole conception thing?  If you're like me, you probably studied this in school.  But it wasn't until I was trying for my son that I really had an interest in knowing all the details.  It is actually quite the miracle.

Some interesting facts:

~ an egg is released each month and will travel to one of the fallopian tubes where it'll remain until possible fertilization

~ about 40-150 million sperm are ejaculated each time but only a few hundred will reach the egg

~ fast sperm can reach the egg within half an hour while slower sperm can take days

~ it only takes a single sperm to fertilize an egg, and if this happens a protective layer will form around the egg to prevent any other sperm from entering it

~fertilization takes 24 hours

~ three to four days after fertilization the egg will leave the fallopian tube and enter the uterus where implantation will take place

~ let's talk chromosomes....a woman is an X, so if the sperm is an X the baby will be a girl, if the sperm is a Y then the baby will be a boy

~ Y sperm are smaller, faster and do not live as long as X sperm

~ an average pregnancy will last for about 40 weeks, drs start to calculate the pregnancy from the first day of the last period so the first two weeks of pregnancy are before conception even takes place

We just need that one little sperm, one out of 150 million.  Let's see...

images and much of the info from WebMD

the letdown

Our first month of trying has come and gone.  I'm not pregnant.  :( 
I am disappointed.  I am sad.  I feel let down.
All of which are very normal, I think.  Expected in fact.

But what surprised me where the other emotions.
I cried.
I got mad at my hubby for not wanting to try until now.  If we had started earlier maybe this month would've been the one.
I got mad at hubby's work.  He was away on business during some very crucial days.  Had he been home maybe things would be different now.
I got mad at my body for misleading me.  I had some sort of stomach flu which threw me off.
I got mad at myself for feeling so upset.

But then I got my crap together and reminded myself of many things.
I reminded myself that getting pregnant the first month of trying is far from an easy task.
I reminded myself that this is nothing compared to what couples struggling with issues like infertility go through.
I reminded myself that we have pressured ourselves into a certain time frame and that that adds stress.
I reminded myself that my body has not failed me, rather being sick with a stomach flu was a real thing.  If I wasn't trying to get pregnant I would've known that my symptoms were in fact what they were, flu symptoms.
And most importanty, I reminded myself that May is in fact another month, another chance to try.

I'm good now.  Over it. 
Seeing hubby's disappointment reminded me that I'm not alone in this.  Support is everything.
And looking at little guy reminds me that I am truly blessed.  I love him so much.

I think I will treat myself to a warm, relaxing bubble bath (I've read some articles that this is not the best idea for pregnant women, but I'll post more about that later).
I may also treat myself to a new haircut and color (there's controversy about the safety of hair color during pregnancy, especially in the first trimmester).

You know, because May is another month.  ;)

prenatal vitamins

It's a well know fact that taking prenatal vitamins before and during pregnancy is of great benefit to your baby.  And a woman in child bearing years should be sure to take folic acid.  Studies have shown that folic acid can help decrease birth defects.

Not every woman is able to plan out her pregnancies, things happen.  Even when precautions are being made, things happen.  I call these "blessings" rather than "things" but that's just me.  ;)  Anyway, if you are able to plan, try taking prenatal vitamins months before even trying to conceive.  With my first pregnancy, I took prenatal vitamins a whole year before even trying to get pregnant.  This time around I also started early.

Now, there are a TON of prenatal vitamins out there.  I was looking at one website and I saw vitamins that were in the hundreds of dollars price range.  That's just crazy people.  Let me tell you what I took before and what I'm currently taking now.

When I was pregnant with little guy I was taking GNC prenatal vitamins which you can find here.

The price (from their website) is $9.99 for 60 caplets, or $17.99 for 120 caplets.  I trust GNC so I felt comfortable taking them.  I told my Dr. that I preferred them and she was fine with that.  All prenatal vitamins tend to be large but I never had a problem taking these, and I never felt sick from them (I felt sick from other things though...lol).

This time around I decided to try something a bit more budget friendly.  I've been taking Spring Valley Prenatal vitamins that can be purchased at Walmart.  You can find them here.

This bottle has an online price of $8.00 and has 240 tablets.  I have talked to women who have been recommended these vitamins by their Drs, so I take that as a good thing.  These are large, but not as large as other brands and the shape seems easier to swallow.

I am happy with both choices.  I think if and when we get pregnant, and once this bottle is finished, I may go back to the GNC brand.  But that's only because I feel it's a very trusted brand.  If money were an issue, I would have no problem sticking with the Spring Valley brand.  The decision is up to you and your situation.  I don't think paying hundreds of dollars is necessary however...lol.

Of course, you should always consult with your Dr. about what prenatal vitamins are good for you. 

ovulation calendars

I didn't use an ovulation calendar or other tools for my first pregnancy.  I did however look up what days are generally a women's fertile days (example, how many days after her last period).  This gave me a general idea of when hubby and I needed to try.
This time around I decided to refer to an ovulation calendar.  And my main reason for that was because hubby was out of town for awhile and I wanted to see if we'd even have a chance once he returned.  And according to my calendar we had a very small chance, but a chance after all. 

All of the websites I listed in my previous post have ovulation calendars but I like the one from WebMD the best.  First, they have a calculator page, where you can enter the dates of your last three periods.  This will give them an idea of how many days your cycles tend to be and they can then estimate your fertile days for the next three months.

You can click on this link to see/use it:  Ovulation Calculator

But what I liked even better, and what I personally used, was their personalized ovulation calendar.  Again, you'll need to enter the date of your last period (they will want the 1st day of your last period), and how many days your cycle usually is.  After that they will personalize a calendar complete with little clipart telling you which days you are fertile.

For this calendar you need to register with WebMD (which for me I didn't mind as I use their website often and they provide great info on all things medical).  If you'd like to try it out, click on this link:  Personalized Ovulation Calendar

The above calendar will also provide you with an option if you prefer a certain gender.  This method is not 100% successful but it's there to try.  As for me, I have no preference for my baby's gender.  With my first pregnancy all I wanted was a healthy baby, boy OR girl.  This time around is no different.  I kinda cringe when someone tells me they don't want this or that.  Does it really matter?  Sure, a little girl would be fun.  I can just imagine how fun it'd be dressing her up, playing Barbies, and bonding with a girl (right now with hubby and little guy, I'm out numbered...lol).  But boys are a joy and we'd be equally blessed with one.  So I leave it in God's hands.

Now, let's see if this ovulation calendar helped or not...  ;)

too much information

The internet is a wonderful thing.  I wouldn't be here writing this without it.  But with the internet comes a lot of information, a little too much information.  You'll find the good, the bad, the pretty, and the ugly.  And if you're going through something like a medical condition or symptoms you're not sure of, you'll be sure to find so much information that your head will be spinning.  It can be stressful.  The internet in regards to pregnancy is no different.  For a first time Mommy it can lead her right into a full blown panic attack.  

That is why I highly suggest finding a few good, reliable sources that you feel comfortable with rather than trying to dive into any and all things baby.  The sources you decide on will be a personal choice.  But making sure these are reliable sources with good reputations is key.

During my first pregnancy, I kept my reading to a few sources.  My main reference was the well known book, What to Expect When You're Expecting.  This book was, and is, great.  It not only covers pregnancy month by month, but has chapters covering things before and after as well.  There's even a chapter about possible complications and explains them in a gentle way.  I experienced one of those complications and this book truly helped me through it.  Everything my Drs. did for me was covered in this book.  I felt safe and well taken care of.  I have begun reading this book again for baby number 2.  :)



I see a new edition has been published since I had little guy.  I will need to purchase this one.  :)

In addition to the book above, I also referred to one website.  Babycenter was very helpful for me.  You can register your pregnancy and they will send you, via email, weekly newsletters on your pregnancy.  And it won't stop there.  These newsletters will shift into information about your baby once he/she is born and will carry on until he/she reaches pre-school.  There are also tons of articles to read and community boards if you'd like to talk with other Mommies.  Also, I signed up and received FREE magazines in the mail, one per trimester (in my opinion, the perfect amount).

Since having litte guy I have also found two other websites that I like.  One is the bump and the other is WebMD.  They offer similar features as Babycenter.

And finally, Walmart offers some similar information.  First, I found a FREE magazine in their baby section of the store.  I really enjoyed this magazine.  They also have a great page on their website called "Baby and Me" which you can find here.

So, my personal advice, based on my first experience, is to choose one really good book, a couple of websites (join a community board or two if you like), and a magazine (all girls need a magazine now and then...wink).  And don't forget to take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy these special times.  ;) 



trying...first month

We started trying for little guy in December of 2005.  I told both hubby and myself that it may take a good 6 months until we would get pregnant.  I felt very relaxed about the whole thing.  I didn't use any ovualtion tools.  I just made sure that we had fun on those few days that I knew where my fertile days.  We were blessed by getting pregnant that first month of trying.

This time around I am again reminding hubby and myself that it may not happen right away.  Apparently, a woman's fertility rate decreases after 30 (I just turned 32).  But still, I will not go to great lengths to get pregnant.  I'm fortunate because I have a very regular cycle, and I know my body well.  This time around, I did in fact print out an ovulation calendar from WebMD.  I did that to be sure of my fertile days.  But, as life would have it, hubby was away on a business trip during a couple of those days.  When he returned I was ready.  ;)  I'm not sure if we made it in time or not.  We shall see.

With all the information out there, it's easy to get discouraged.  One article said that a healthy woman has about a 20% chance of getting pregnant on any given month.  Another article said it can take a healthy couple up to a year to get pregnant, another said six months, and yet another said within three months.  Honestly, my advice is a) Don't read too much info.  Find a website and maybe a book that you trust and refer to it when needed.  But don't depend on it.  And b)  Relax and have fun trying.  I know, I know, easier said than done.  Believe me, I understand that need to get pregnant right.this.very.moment.  But I'm a firm believer that all things happen for a reason and they happen when they're meant to.  Getting yourself stressed out will definitely not help.  If we go through several months of trying with no success, I may sing a different tune.  I hope I can keep it real though.

We planned to start trying this month because it would work out really well with our annual travel plans.  Every summer, we fly across the world to visit my family in the U.S.  A 13-14 hour flight is something we must keep in mind when thinking about pregnancy.  I flew during my first pregnancy; I was at the end of my 5th month when we went.  Traveling in the 2nd trimester is the safest time.  So if I would get pregnant this month, I would complete the 1st trimester shortly before our summer trip.  Also, my little sister is getting married next summer, so we need time to be pregnant, have the baby, get a passport for the baby, and get tickets for all four of us in time for summer trip 2012.  But, you know, no pressure....lol.  :D

Here's praying for success.  But if not, we'll just keep on trying.  ;)